A male sexual abuse victim says it was difficult for him to admit to his suffering due to stereotypes that he had to be tough.

The man, who is from Edgware, grew up with a hazy recollection of his childhood memories that were blocked or unclear.

For many years he had an extreme level of what seemed as unwarranted anger – except with context it was not unwarranted; slowly he realised he had a repressed memory of being sexually abused several times between the ages of six and thirteen.

Considering his appearance, a 6ft 3 black male, he felt negative stereotypes of masculinity masked his ability to open up of his trauma.

He admitted it took him a long while to come to terms with his past and he became more aware of it after the final incident at the age of thirteen.

He said: “Emotionally I was distant and was kind of numb to a lot of things. Now I’m improving, it’s a challenge to know it wasn’t my fault.”

The victim says these incidents involved people who were close in his life and were figures who he trusted.

Later as a teenager, he was horrified to wake up to someone who he considered as a friend touching and taking advantage of him.

It was then that the anger truly took him over, and after returning to London he spent many years hanging around what he called a “bad crowd”.

At 21, he came clean to his family and friends about what had happened, but was shocked to find that many people simply did not accept what he said.

He said: “Many people didn’t believe me, and many people stayed away as they didn’t know how to handle it, so I had to overcome the lonely process.

“But I wouldn’t say I was truly alone, a couple of people stuck with me, but the loss was far greater, and I lost a lot family and friends from speaking out about my experiences.”

“As a black male coming from an African background, it was unique to me and others.

“I grew up, and there were plenty of women with stories of assault, but I didn’t have anyone who looked like me.

“I don’t know a black man who comes out with a story like that, by speaking out I’m saving a child like me.”

While he was upset that some of his family distanced himself, he admits that it was not entirely their fault due to their cultural upbringing and generational differences.

He said: “Normally something like that is swept under the carpet and is barely ever mentioned.

“I felt crushed for along time, but I know I’m doing the right thing.

“I was taught to keep things close to my chest. But that doesn’t work and as the next generation we should become more open to talk about it and let people know these things do go on.”

The first person he opened up to was in university, after he felt a series of flashbacks and emotional moments while talking to some of his friends who went through similar experiences.

The victim admits he felt he couldn’t trust his own thoughts as he began to remember what had happened.

“My friend told me to speak and not to shy away from anything, and it was then when I said I was raped. I felt a weight had been lifted.”

Now he feels a sense of empowerment and says he is “in love” with himself as he’s openly combatting his childhood demons and helping transform the lives of others.

If you have been in a similar situation, you can contact Survivor’s UK, a male rape and sexual abuse support line, at survivorsuk.org.